11 years

The last couple of days have been very emotional for me. September 30th was the day Stephen and I had our 1st kiss and became a couple. Its been 11 years. I remember how happy I was and how blown away I was by the fact that he was interested in me. I don't really know what to say right now, I did start this post on September 30th, but my emotions were so mixed up I just quit writing.

Ramblings

I keep forgetting stuff I want to put on here, so this post will pretty much be a jumble of different things.

Jade and Evan's Birthday Party Day went really well. We almost stuck to our schedule! Everything started right on time, up until Jades, hers started 30 minutes late(which is awesome for me! lol I am usually at least on hour behind) because we were waiting on her best friend. She loved her necklace and earrings. She was really tickled over the stuff she got from everyone which included some new clothes, squishy pillows, and $105.00! My cousin gave her a throw rug that had been my grandfathers, she was tickled to know she has something that was my pop-pops. She had 4 friends spend the night, it was fun. I let them play dress-up with my make-up, and they did each others nails. I can't tell you how many times I opened the door and one or all of them had balloon boobs! lol Who would have thought five 10 year old girls, could go through 7 packs of pop corn!?

Piper told me the other night that she has a boyfriend! She said his name is Drew. I asked her why is he her boyfriend and she said cause he likes me and he gets mad when (some other little boy, I forgot his name) talks to me. She sounded so proud when she was telling me! lol

Anakin is driving me nuts with "mama, mama, mama" ALL the time! I love him to death, and have enjoyed my time here with him, but the boy does not take no for an answer! All no does is prolong the "mama, mama, mama" or changes it to "mommy, mommy, mommy." He wouldn't even go to Stephen last night! I think I have turned him into a mama's boy(yes, I love that idea! hehe) He is obsessed with He-Man, and has moved on from using empty water bottles to wanting a full one for a sword! Does NOT feel the same when he wants you to "sword fight" and the bottle is full!

Starla is getting an Outstanding Vol award tonight at school, its for outstanding citizenship qualities in the classroom. She gets a t-shirt, certificate, and her picture will be in the paper. She also won 3rd place in a bus safety poster contest for grades k-4! I'm so proud of her!

Anakin is standing here right now saying "mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy" but will not say what he wants. He is 2 1/2 and speaks really well, so I refuse to follow him around to find out what he wants.

I don't think I blogged about report cards either. Jade got "Honorable mention" her lowest grade was an 81(I think, I know it wasn't lower), that was in Social Studies which the whole class is struggling with. They got new books and new workbooks this year in every grade and the state has made it ridiculous! Even 3rd grade, Starla's teacher stopped using the workbook because she had trouble getting the answers! Can you believe that? They said the new books have something to do with TN students not being as ready for college as students from other states. Starla made Honor Roll, and Piper(yes, I was so excited Pre-K gets report cards!) knows everything she is supposed to know at this point.

The other night I decided to go for a walk, Stephen and I had been fighting and I just needed to get away. I was gone 1 hr 10 min when he found me, I walked out one end of our road, up the main road to the other end. When I checked the mileage the next day I walked 2.7 miles, he picked me up .1 mile from the house. The worst part was that I didn't think before I left and was bare foot!! (yes, my feet really really hurt!) I still can not walk barefoot! I have to keep my flip flops or slippers on! My feet are raw!

Jade Birthday gifts

This is the balloon and rose I sent to school for Jade, and the Bratz doll she picked out after lunch with her dad. We are getting her a birthstone necklace, but she doesn't know yet because she dont get that till her party.

Happy Birthday Jade!!!!!!

I wanted to put this in a separate post from my bad news one. Can you believe my baby is 10 years old today!!!!!? Where does the time go? She was a tiny newborn just yesterday! I swear she was! Of course since I am an overly emotional person, I cried when I told her happy birthday this morning! Stephen is picking her up from school early to take her out to lunch. I called this morning and had a balloon and a rose sent to her.

Just when you think it cant get worse

I got let go from my job on Friday. I had missed 3 days in the 2.5 months I had been there, and even though they new about 2 of them ahead of time, it didn't matter. So now on top of everything else going on I have to find a new job! Does that not suck!? They didn't even tell me themselves, they left a message on the voicemail at home! I didn't come home Friday after work, so Stephen called to tell me.

Friday night, I went and played Bunco with the moms group. I had a great time! I enjoyed seeing everyone so much! It reminded me how much I miss the great friends I have in Rutherford County! I won $50.00! All the times I have played, its the 2nd time I have won something! So I was really thrilled!

Then Saturday, Aunt Sally and I had a yard sale. It was a bomb! I make $14.00, that's it! That wasn't even enough to cover gas to get home! But I enjoyed seeing her and getting to chat.

Its been filed

On August 28th, our divorce was finally filed with the court. The 1st couple of days after I was pretty much a mess. Each day that has gone by has gotten easier. I am still scared shitless of starting over with 4 kids in tow. I have never been on my own by myself let alone with 4 kids to raise. I know Stephen will be around for them and will help when help is needed, but I will be the main one responsible for them. Stephen is staying with us a bit longer, just until he can afford a place to move.

I am exhausted. I'm not sure why but I have had alot of trouble keeping my energy up lately. I always feel worn out. Emotional stress maybe? I don't know. I would just really love to feel like me again.