weekend news & more

So I had almost a half of page of updates and left the pc unattended while I was on the phone and my lovely nephew erased it all! lol ok apparently he POSTED it!!! I wasnt ready for that!! I removed it now!

Things are going really good! I have been so happy lately! My babies are all doing good
I got to have Starla and Anakin for a whole week on their spring break! I had a blast with them! and I am thrilled I get to have them Monday through Friday all summer!! They are excited too! Jade and Piper got report cards, they both did really well. Jade had 2 grades that dropped by a few points but I know she really tried, so she will be getting her phone back this week! She is excited! lol She also now has a facebook to be able to talk to her friends on, she has family on there now but they are pretty much a trial basis, she knows this and is ok with it. She was thrilled she got to talk to Aunt Pat on there! Piper is just as silly as ever! lol They went to their dads last weekend and came home in pretty good moods which I love! It means they had a good time there! They talked non-stop ALL the way home! lol
We had our family pictures done, I invited Stephen and OKed it with the photographer, the kids LOVED that he came and got to have pictures with them. We also did a couple of the 6 of us together for the kids, we have really tried to reaffirm that we are still a family even though Stephen and I are not together anymore.

I had a phone call hearing this morning because my unemployment is being disputed, ill know in 7-10 days if I am going to lose it.

umm....I cant think of anything else and I need to move away from the pc so i guess i better post this now before Evan does! lol

Readers

If youve ever noticed there is a thing at the bottom of the page that shows the traffic on my blog. Feedjit has now set up a way where it can tell me who each visitor is instead of just thier city....so I was wondering if you dont mind, could you fill out the form on this link so I am able to see whos reading about us. Thanks! Ellen

http://feedjit.com/id/

Blog edits...

I dont know if anyone will notice but I removed some posts and edited some. About two weeks ago, I finally opened up to Tanya and she made me realize I needed help. She made me get a dr. appointment. I wasnt going to tell anyone this because I was ashamed of it but I am not anymore. I am on "happy"(anti depressant) pills now. They have helped clear my head so much, the constant state of confusion is gone. The depression I got into was not over the last two years, it was over my kids, not having them with me all the time and missing Starla and Anakin so bad it hurts. I feel more like myself then I have since I moved down here without Anakin. I am happy! Yes, I still miss them so much it hurts, but I am better able to deal with that now, I can actually function when they are not home. This has made me realize the confusion over the divorce was that I was missing them, because if it wasn't for the divorce I would be with them. Thats why I removed those posts, thats all they were was confusion, they were the depression messing with my head, making me think being with Stephen would fix everything, when in reality that is not what I want. It is still a struggle everyday to not have Starla and Anakin, I love them SO much and miss them SO much, that should show how much because I got in that bad of shape because i didn't know how to deal with them not being with me, that is why i am no longer ashamed of anyone knowing I am on anti-depressants, seriously, what mother wouldn't need them when she has to live without all her kids with her??

Tomorrow

Tomorrow the kids and I are having a family pictures done. This will be the 1st family picture since the divorce and I am honestly not sure how i feel about it. The idea of doing a family picture without Stephen seems wrong so im sure when we are having them done it going to feel wrong. I have put this off so long because of that. Having them done meant facing reality, but I can avoid having pictures done forever, so tomorrow we go.