2008

This has literally been the worst year of my life. Yes, i am VERY thankful for what I do have, but most of my world fell apart this year. I lost alot of what i believed in, and I don't know how to get that back.
For Jade and I, 2008 ended in the hospital. She woke up in the very early morning of the 31st and told me her belly was hurting, I told her to go to the bathroom and lay back down. Well by the time we got up and had breakfast, it was obvious that she was hurting. So I started questioning her and decided to take her to the ER because it sounded like her appendix. I couldn't find someone to come watch Starla, Piper, Anakin and Evan, so I had to take them all with me! We got there by 10:30, I think. When I couldn't go with her to triage because of all the kids, I tried calling Sherell(Stephens mom) to see if she would come get my other 3. I didn't reach her at home and was about to try her cell, when Stephen called. I told him what was going on and that I was trying to reach his mom. He was at work and I really didn't want him to have to leave unless it was absolutely necessary because he would lose holiday pay for New Years. Sherell was there within probably 20 minutes of Stephen calling her. She even took Evan, I didn't expect her to take him to but she had no problem with it. I really don't know what I would have done with out her that day. Jade got admitted to the hospital, they thought it was her appendix, even though the ct scan was clear. Dr. Rutherford came in to see her and said it was a viral infection. So she got to come home New Years day.

Awhile back, I had decided to move back to Rutherford County, but then Starla getting in trouble made me rethink the kids being that far from their dad. Well this thing with having to take 5 kids to the ER has me rethinking my decision again. Maybe I am old fashioned or selfish, or whatever you want to call it, but if a friend calls me and says I need to get my daughter to the ER can you come sit with the others, I would be out the door and on my way before they even finished their sentence. I have one friend up here that got upset when I told her about moving to Rutherford County, she didn't want us to go, but when I called her the morning I had to take Jade to the ER she couldn't come stay with the other kids because her husband told his parents that they would do something with them at 12 o'clock that day. Now I know you never know what will happen or how long it will take when you go to an ER, but to me the least she could have done was said I can come over until you can get someone else there. But it honestly made me feel like my daughter needing to go to the emergency room was not important to her, someone who claims to love my kids as if they were her own. If I would have been in Rutherford County, I know I have so many family and friends down there that someone would have understood and come to help me out without making me feel like I was bothering them.

So I have a major decision to make, and I have to make it on my own. Do I stay up here where the schools are great, the cost of living is decent, and I have Stephen and his parents as a support system or do I move back where the schools are not bad but overcrowded and not as personal, the cost of living is higher and I know I would struggle financially, but I would have a huge support system. I would have more then a handful of people that if the kids and I needed anything, would not hesitate to help us out. How do you make that kind of decision on your own? It will really effect the kids, no matter what I choose.