I will be ok

Im not even sure why i am writing right now. I guess maybe because i have 45 minutes until i need to leave to in get my kids and im just trying to waste time. I have been without them since thursday at 4 pm, i am looking forward to them coming home. To all the parents out there, when your kids drive you up the wall, which lets face it all kids do thats one of the great things about being a parent, just stop for a minute and think what it would be like to not have them with you all the time. They are only little once, enjoy and appriciate the time, realize how lucky you are, it may just give you a new look on things. I spent most of my weekend on the phone with an amazing friend and even though i am still lost, and still feel obsolete, he has helped me see that i am not the bad person that i felt like I was, after all he did want to talk to me all weekend. It is very nice to know that thier are guys out there that want the same things i want and have the same values. I still have no clue where my life is headed or why it has turned out this way, but I have realized that the past is just that, the past. There is no changing it, no erasing it, no running or hiding from it, its there and its a part of me. Its made me who i am, its made me as strong as I am, its made me the mother that i am, and its made me an adult. An adult who if she ever gets lucky and blessed enough to get 2nd chance at a happily ever after, has learned valueable lessons on what a marriage and family means.