Mom and dad are going to switch beds with me, so maybe I will be able to get more sleep then I have been. Plus I am going to paint the bedroom this weekend. I am not sure what color, I don't have the extra to buy any paint so I am just going to use whatever I have left from when we moved in, so it may end up being very colorful.

Stephen came by a little while ago and we talked for awhile. The divorce is definitely the best thing for both of us. I may still have doubts but that doesn't matter because he doesn't love me anymore. So I have to let go and move on with my life. Maybe I can even find someone who will be more compatible and like more of the things I do. But for now it will be just me and my kiddos. We will be ok and get through this. Stephen did make me a better person, he made me realize I am not nothing, and that I should believe in myself, so I am very thankful to him for that, even through the hurt and heartache I am feeling right now, I do treasure the time I had with him. Stephen if you read this, I said something earlier that I need to apologize for. I can not remember exactly what I said but it was something about never marrying you. That was cruel and uncalled for, I am sorry I said it. I do not regret our marriage or our 10 years together, I am just hurting right now, so please give me some time and then maybe we can be friends again, if not for anything else then for the kids.