Mom, dad, Jeannie and Evan didn't leave until right before 9pm last night, which was a little late for me and the kids, but we had a good time. Dad put air in the girls bike tires for them, so they were very excited about that. He fixed the pipe under the bathroom sink but he said don't let them pull on it, so I am not even sure whether I should let them use it or not! Jeannie and I had to run to walmart. I saw Jeff Mason there, he was our realtor, he asked how we were liking the house, I just told him we love it, I didn't have the guts to tell him Stephen and I are divorcing. The divorce I can handle the shocked look everyone gives me I cant. No matter how much I fight it off, anytime I see that look it makes me want to cry!

I went to the nursing home today to put in an application. The position is different then what I was told. The lady that runs the kitchen decided she is not going to hire another person for the 7 to 3:30 but she does need someone to work doubles every other weekend, and she said she can have them work during the week too. I told her the weekends were not a problem but I need 40 hours a week at least.

I have been in kind of an ill mood all day, I am not sure why. Its been a long day though. I just want to get through the next 4 hours and go to bed early!

Stephen and I will be going to the lawyers office Thursday morning to start the paper work. We are agreeing on everything so a lawyer is just going to put everything together for us. We don't want two separate lawyers, that will just cost more and the lawyers would more then likely try to cause problems. I am ready to get this done and over with but it scares the crap out of me. I know I have the strength I need to get through this, I just have to figure out how to pull all that strength together and use it!

Like I said before I have really been working on my self esteem and believing in myself lately. My sister was shocked yesterday when we were talking about something and I told her I know I am a good, fun person with a good personality and I even see myself as pretty now! And I know one day I will meet someone who will love me for me and who I will make very happy just being me. Jeannie said she was very proud of me and she said she agreed with everything except she thinks I am beautiful. I don't see that yet, but maybe one day I will.