The kids slept in a little this morning, I guess I really wore them out last night! Anakin was being good all morning up until he got a hold of my carton of cigarettes and tore apart 2 packs! I had them up to where he couldn't reach them too! I am not sure how he got to them! He is supposed to be napping right now, but of course he keeps getting up! lol
I talked to Tanya(not the one from the moms group) this morning, she is not doing real good. I am worried about her. I can't go into details on here since so many people read this. I checked out career builder again this morning, they had a few new things. So keep your fingers crossed that I hear back from someone soon! I wish gas wasn't so expensive so i could actually go around to some companies and not have to try through temp services.
I think I mentioned yesterday that Stephen and I are going to the lawyer today. We had to find a different one. This guy is about $250.00 cheaper and only needs the filing fee upfront, then Stephen has the 3 month waiting period to come up with the rest. If I can get a job soon, I am going to try to help him pay for it. Since I am wanting the divorce just as much as he is now, I want to help cover the costs. I still don't regret marrying him, we had 10 great years together and 4 beautiful children. The only regret I have is that our children don't get to grow up with their parents together, but we will both make sure they are OK. They will always know how much we love them, and that this has nothing to do with them. I am very thankful that we are remaining friends, he has been a big part of my life and has made me the woman I am today, and Stephen has also told me I have made him a better man. I know most of you are not going to be able to understand, we have heard a lot of people say we should try again for the kids, but our situation has always been unique. We got married very young and I believe everything happens for a reason. This last two months, I have really learned a lot about myself, my relationship with my mother has changed for the better, but aside from that there is one more thing I can't help but thinking and some of my readers may not believe it or understand it. My biggest dream growing up was to have a lot of kids, I always wanted 4 or 6. With the problems I am having monthly and my families history of hysterectomies I am pretty sure that when I do go to the doctor about it I am going to have to have a hysterectomy. So I do believe Stephen was brought into my life early, so that I could have the children I always wanted. The older I got the harder it was to get pregnant, I got pregnant with Jade and Starla at 16 and 17 with no trying at all, We lost a baby in 2001 when I was 20, and then it took 2 more years of trying to get Piper when I was 22, we started trying when Piper was 3 months for #4 and Anakin didn't come along until almost 3 years later. I really believe if I hadn't had kids so early, I wouldn't have gotten to have them all if any. I feel I was really blessed for it to be Stephen and not someone that would have treated us bad or taken off when I found out I was pregnant with Jade. I could not have asked for a better father for my children.